Travelling Hiccups 7

Travelling Hiccups 7

Calder and I ate lunch together and then I walked him to Hougang mrt. I told him he could board at Cabin 18 (nearer to escalator) and was glad to see him following the instruction. Having seen him safely in, I did some grocery shopping. Checked his location: Dhoby Ghaut. Good. I reached home and checked his location again: Outram Park. It's been a while and he's only at Outram? I checked his visual tracker. He's at Outram Park mrt alright, but at the green platform, not the brown one. I sent pictures via WhatsApp reminding him he should take a certain escalator from purple to brown line and the door he would see if he's at Cabin 12 of the right platform. Unfortunately, the next time I checked his location, he's clearly travelling on the green line. Sigh. I texted him to get out and cross the platform to make his way back to Outram Park. He's still travelling in the same direction. I decided to go to Outram Park to find him in case he didn't know how to get from green line to brown line. By the time I reached Outram Park's green line, Calder was at Boon Lay. I saw on the visual tracker that he had alighted. But he didn't turn back. He lingered. Was he unsure which side to take? Should I ask SMRT to have a staff put him on the right train? But I had sought such help before and both times Calder got on the train before they could find him. I didn't want to trouble them again (otherwise it might  become something like Cry Wolf where they start to take lightly autistic disappearance) so I decided to make my way to Boon Lay. He was at Boon Lay for 50 min (according to the footage that I reviewed later at night). Unfortunately, he hopped on the return train before I could reach him and I found myself one station behind him. I sent another text asking him to wait for me at Cabin 12 of the green line of Outram Park. Location showed him to be at Tiong Bahru so I quickly alighted at Tiong Bahru station but it was a mistake. Now I'm 2 stations behind him. I checked the visual tracker and saw that he was walking around the station. The visual tracker tends to be blurry when he's in movement so I couldn't tell if he was at the green line. Finally, I reached Outram Park. But I didn't see him at the green line. Afraid that he would hop on another wrong train, I went in search at the other lines. Not at the brown line. Not at the purple line. Did he exit the station? Check location: still at Outram Park. Check visual tracker: oh, green strip - he's at the green line. Found him at 2.51pm. He was apparently looking for Mommy. But he didn't want to answer any of my questions. Not when I asked whether he wanted to go home or go to work. Or whether he wanted Mommy to take brown line with him. I had told the job coach I would send Calder to the brown line. Would he do funny things again, like taking a train in the opposite direction when he arrived at Siglap (it happened once)? Would I have to return to find him again? Shouldn't we just go home? After all, by the time he reached St Andrew's Autism Centre, he would be left with the most one and half hours of work. But then, I remember a parent telling me how thankful she was that she could get 2+ hours of respite when her son went to work. And if I want Calder to travel independently, I cannot behave like I don't trust him anymore, right? So I reminded Calder to  use the escalator (not the lift which could distract him) when he arrived at Siglap mrt, and sent him into the brown line of Outram Park mrt. And made my way home to enjoy what respite I could get. Fortunately he reached his workplace smoothly from there. 

At night, when I reviewed his footage, I saw that at Outram Park station, Calder went correctly from purple to the brown line. But then there was loud sound of a child crying, and he followed the sound to the green line! If this is a case of Pipe Piper effect, I don't know what I can do to prevent it from happening again. And I still don't know why he lingered so long at Boon Lay.

In the evening, instead of alighting at Hougang, Calder went all the way to Punggol Coast again. But remembering what my friend said about Punggol Coast being a nice place, I decided to trust Calder to make his way back from there when he's ready. I kept myself busy (watching Bible Study Fellowship lecture video) instead of constantly tracking him. Fortunately he didn't linger at Punggol Coast this time. My daughter returned home slightly earlier than him and told me it was terribly crowded at the MRT. So maybe he couldn't alight at Hougang the first time. 

No stars for him today, but I thanked him for returning home safely.

The next day (today), I decided to train Calder to go to work by bus. Less distractions like lifts and train watching. There's a straight bus but it's more than 40 stops from home. Would the bus driver be able to remind Calder to alight? (It means Calder cannot sit at the upper deck.) Should I print a card showing a picture of Calder, his name, my number and his destination, to give to the bus driver? How do we get this card back so I don't have to print again for the next trip? What happens if Calder misses his stop? I began searching for apps that can sound alarm when nearing a location. When I dropped Calder off at Siglap mrt bus stop, I took another bus of the same number all the way to the end of the line (Upper East Coast terminal) to see where Calder would end up if he didn't alight. There's noisy roadwork right beside this terminal. Would that make Calder walk out to the main road? If Calder really winds up at this terminal, would I be able to ask the terminal staff to help me put him on a return bus, and to ask the bus driver to remind Calder to alight at Siglap mrt? Might this be abusing the service of public servants, more babysitting than emergency help? 

And would there be an end to this Travelling Hiccups series?

Travelling Hiccups 6

After having to rescue Calder over two consecutive days, I was getting discouraged. The next day, I decided to send Calder to the brown line before heading for work. This means taking the train with him from Hougang to Outram Park, before going the opposite direction to Punggol Coast to teach. I directed him to board at certain cabins so he would not be distracted by lifts. At Hougang, that's Cabin 17. (Although when we alighted, I saw that Cabin 18 might be nearer the escalator.) At Outram, it's Cabin 12. The train had already arrived when we reached the brown line of Outram. Ahead of me, Calder had quickened his steps too. I signalled for him to wait - I had decided that it's better to board at the "right" cabin than to catch the immediate train. So we waited for the next train. Meanwhile, I took pictures of the train door to help Calder differentiate between brown and green line. I highlighted to him that if he could find "Siglap" among the listed destinations at the top, then he's at the right platform. When the train arrived, I sent Calder into Cabin 12 and bid him farewell. Calder reached St Andrew's Autism Centre before his work started at 1.30pm. When he sent me his selfie, I decided to add a star to my response. Perhaps the stars can form a reward system to motivate him. When I reviewed the footage, I was gratified to see that Calder followed my instruction - taking escalator to Exit 2 instead of using the lift. 

That evening, Calder returned home smoothly too. I used Life 360's report to congratulate Calder with another star. I told Calder that he would get a star when he arrives at St Andrew's before 1.30pm and a star when he makes it home before 6.30pm. When he has collected 6 stars, Mommy would buy him ijooz. 

The next day, he reached his workplace early and earned another star. Perhaps the stars make a difference. I was about to pat myself on the back, but that evening, Calder didn't come home on time. 

Instead of alighting at Hougang, he went all the way to Punggol Coast and stayed there for 40 min. His visual tracker was pointing downwards and I surmised that he was just sitting on a metal bench (instead of pressing lift buttons which I would have presumed). What was Calder doing at Punggol Coast, I wanted to ask him. But I decided not to sound accusatory, so I sent him a text to come back to eat chicken rice. There was a youngster sitting beside him on the next bench. The youngster (probably a SIT student) didn't seem to be in a hurry to board the train either. Could Calder be taking the cue from him? But then I saw that the youngster eventually departed, yet Calder remained sitting on his bench. From Life 360 report (I tagged St Andrew's and home locations so Life 360 would inform me every time Calder leaves or arrives at these locations), I had noticed that Calder left St Andrew's at 5.10pm instead of 5pm. By the time he was nearing Hougang, it was clear that he would not be able to reach home by 6.30pm. Might this be the reason why he gave up the urgency? Might he be lingering at Punggol Coast because he mistakenly thought that he could only take the train from the opposite platform? But the footage showed an open train on the opposite platform when Calder first arrived at Punggol Coast. Perhaps he thought that train was leaving soon, so he didn't attempt to board it? I called SMRT, asking if there's a staff at Punggol Coast who could help put Calder on the train. But then I checked the visual tracker and saw that Calder had gotten on a train. Fortunately, this time he alighted at Hougang. I decided to fetch him at the bus stop in case he misses his stop (it had happened before) and I have to find him at Changi airport. 

Calder reached home at 7.40pm, more than an hour late. The sky had already turned dark. I let him eat his chicken rice and shower and then attend his Royal Kids online program. I was just in time for my own online fellowship. 

St Andrew's Autism Centre was planning to release a video of Calder's independent travelling. I had asked them to release it at 6.30pm instead of 6pm, thinking Calder would have reached home by then. (I was concerned that public members with good intentions may try to chat Calder up, which could make him uncomfortable.)

While waiting for Calder to come home, a friend texted, asking me about his cough. I told her Calder had quite recovered and had in fact gone to work. But he seemed to have proceeded to Punggol Coast instead of alighting at Hougang. Her light-hearted response gave me pause: 

"He must like SIT campus, I heard it’s nice there. You going there now?" 

Could Calder have preferred to hang out at Punggol Coast instead of coming straight home? After all, it's quiet and spacious, a good place to watch trains. I told my friend I was hesitant to go find him in case he starts assuming his parent would always "fetch" him. 

When you have a non-verbal child, there's so much speculations involved identifying causes for any deviation from the norm. I'm glad to have the visual tracker to help me investigate possible reasons behind Calder's choices. I'm also thankful that despite all the hiccups, God has brought him home safely time and again.

Travelling Hiccups 5

Calder was late for work for 2 hours yesterday. WhatsApp live location showed him arriving at Siglap, but then, he took the journey the opposite direction again. Did he not exit from Siglap because it was raining heavily? (His trainer clarified that it wasn't raining). Was there a fierce security staff at Siglap gantry that he's trying to avoid? Where Calder couldn't explain himself, the visual tracker helped. After Calder returned home, I viewed the footage and saw that he was distracted by the lift. After lingering for a while, the opposite train arrived, and he got on! 

Unfortunately the way home was not smooth either. Location showed him stuck at Outram Park mrt and the Dad had to go rescue him. The visual tracker wasn't pointing the right direction (it was pointing upwards at the ceiling) so I couldn't tell what was happening. Hubby told me Calder was found pacing around the station. 

Today, Calder didn't make it to work at all. He alighted at Outram Park mrt but instead of the brown line, he took the green line. I sent him messages to change train and used "play sound" of Family Link to alert him to them. He replied the messages but by the look of things, didn't seem to understand my instructions. He was going up and down the green line instead of moving to the brown line. I figured he'd truly lost and went to find him at Outram Park. By then, it's 4pm. He had been travelling for more than 4 hours. It'd take at least another half an hour to reach St Andrew's and work ends at 5pm. So I decided to bring him directly home. When I watched the footage, I saw that he took the wrong escalator. That's why he ended up on the green line.

What has happened to make Calder so absentminded these 2 days? It's almost like he's moving in a dream. He's coughing a little - is he more sick that he seems? Is this problem something that can be solved with a reward board? 

Looks like I may have to walk him through the procedure again. 

Travelling Hiccups 4

After 8 days of smooth travelling, we assumed Calder has learned how to travel to and from work, so we stopped monitoring his journey. Imagine our surprise when we found he's still at Buangkok mrt two hours after his Dad departed from him there. It was nearing 1.30pm, and we got concerned because he would usually have sent Mommy his selfie by this time. WhatsApp live location (we have started sharing his location this way with his job coaches, in case he arrives late) showed he was at Buangkok when he should be at Siglap. Daddy went to look for him and put him on the train. Thank God he managed to follow the routine of changing train at Outram, and alighting at Siglap. 

In the evening, I watched the footage of his visual tracker to ascertain the cause of this hiccup. Oh, it's because trains at both platforms arrived at the same time. Since Calder was small, I've noticed his reluctance to board a train when the train opposite has not moved off. He would wait for buses to move off too, before walking away. In the footage, the trains kept arriving simultaneously. His video would show him looking at the side he's supposed to board, then turning to see the train arriving or leaving at the opposite platform. He would continue to watch the opposite side until its train had fully left. By this time, his side of the train would also have left, or be blinking the warning that the train door was about to close. I stopped counting at the 13th pair of trains. In this way, Calder got stuck for 2 hours waiting for a train that never arrived alone. Thank God he was able to leave his "post" when prompted by the Dad. But I don't know how to prevent such a hiccup from happening again, short of herding him into the train. (He's already been trained to leave from home. When he was discovered playing at the HDB lifts, I took to sending him to the bus stop. Would I now need to send him to the mrt station?)

Travelling Preparation

Instead of releasing Calder from the doorstep, I've taken to sending him to the bus stop. Well, not exactly. I let him climb the overhead bridge himself and watch him from the opposite bus stop. This is to discourage him from going to the lifts instead of waiting patiently at the bus stop. (We saw from his visual tracker that he'd missed a few buses before while he was "visiting" the lifts.) In case he gets lost (and I need to use his picture to ask people if they've seen him), I take a quick picture of him in his current dressing. 

When I did that 2 days ago. I didn't realize that he was without his bus card again (2nd time this happens since he started travelling to work independently). So I was surprised to see him giving up the bus that had stopped in front of him, and crossing the bridge over to my side. Ah, then I noticed what's missing, and followed him home to retrieve his bus card. I must have interrupted his preparation routine somehow to have distracted him from putting on his lanyard. On my side, it's so easy to forget things these days. (Today I forgot to share his WhatsApp location with his job coach.) So I decided to use a checklist, which includes steps like checking for train disruption on 

https://www.sgtrains.com/guide-status .

On Monday night, I noticed that instead of coming straight home, he allowed the train to bring him to Punggol Coast and back to Hougang. So I took the hard copy MRT map that I got from the control station, and used an erasable pen to trace his correct journey. Told him he's not supposed to go one round. When he was typing his journal, I also got him to insert the sentence "I must alight after Kovan station". 

The other thing that might have helped was the reassurance that he can remove his watch after sending me his selfie upon reaching St Andrew's. I'm assuming the watch reminds him that he should be heading for St Andrew's Autism Centre.

In this way, he has been travelling smoothly to and from work, for the past 3 days. Thank Lord!

Travelling Hiccups 3

This is Week 4 since Calder started travelling independently to and from work (Hougang to Siglap). 

On Monday, he arrived at work late for 10 min. Before that, we had lunch at Hougang Mall foodcourt and then took the lift. He got off at Level 1 while I proceeded to the basement for grocery shopping at the supermarket. It was 11.50am. Setting off at this time should give him more than ample time to arrive by 1.30pm. But he lingered at Hougang mrt. Later I saw a missed call from a church friend who told me she saw him at Hougang mrt. She had asked him if he was lost. He didn't answer her but went into the train. When we checked his visual tracker video clip, we saw that he spent 40 mins watching the trains of the opposite platform, until my church friend talked to him. Thank God for sending her. His aversion to conversation was probably more powerful than his fascination with trains. If not for the interruption, I don't know how long he would have lingered at the train station. 

This brought to mind a Facebook friend's suggestion to set up a platform allowing the public to track autistic kids, so they can render help if one is near them. I must admit there have been many times I wish I could WhatsApp SMRT to activate a staff to look for Calder at a certain station to guide him to the right platform, or to alert a bus driver that Calder is lost on his or her bus. But I have misgivings about letting the public know his whereabouts. For one, there are predators out there who might take advantage of his simplicity. There might also be well meaning people who try to talk to him, who ask him questions which would make him uncomfortable or even trigger him. A fellow parent questioned whether it's wise to let our kids wear lanyards that identify them as having special needs. Would they be targeted? I told him the chance of bullying taking place on public transport probably isn't high. If you ask me, I think the proportion of Singaporeans being bo-chap is the highest, followed by the kind ones and then the mean ones. So if Calder is apparently lost or apparently has lost control, I'm hoping whoever sees my message behind his bus card would help him by contacting me. The message ("I have autism. Please text my Mom at... if I'm lost. ") would hopefully also shield him from retaliation should he unwittingly cause offence. Because there are good people and bad people out there, I'm not sure it's entirely a bad thing that not more people recognize the hidden disability sunflower lanyard that he wears. But it's definitely necessary for transport crew to know.

Yesterday (Thursday), Calder arrived at work two hours late. According to Find Hub, instead of alighting at Outram Park, he went to HarbourFront and was there for quite a while (the video clip confirmed it to be more than 30 min). When I WhatsApp video-called him, I saw that he was still at the purple line and there was a train ready for boarding right behind him. I told him to get on the train but he just stared at me. I had to teach at SIT in the afternoon but tried to track him intermittently before the start of lesson. When I video-called him again, I saw that he was on a train. But he didn't alight at Outram Park to change to brown line. Find Hub showed he was at Boon Keng. Was he heading home? I sent him a text telling him that no one was home; he had to go to work. He went all the way to Punggol Coast and back again to Outram Park, and finally reached Siglap. He arrived at work at 3.30pm. Did he think that having gotten one step wrong, he had to do it all over again? But if so, shouldn't he have alighted at Hougang which is the first mrt stop in his journey? Was it inertia that made him sit on until the train crew made them get out (so I saw on the video clip) at HarbourFront? And inertia that made him sit all the way to the other end of the purple line? He lingered at Hougang mrt on Monday. Now he lingered in HarbourFront. In a way, it's a good thing he looked more stunned than cheerful when I video-called him. If he thinks it's play time, I wouldn't know how to get him to go to work directly every weekday. This possibility troubled me a little - what if he thinks it's better to hang out at mrt stations than go to work? God, will you guide the situation? Then I thought - perhaps it's because he had no concept of time. Perhaps I should let him wear a watch and impress upon him that he must reach his workplace by 1.30pm. I tried letting him wear the Healthy 365 watch before. But he took it off and returned it to its charging place a short while later. Perhaps he thinks it belongs there. If so, I wouldn't have to worry about him discarding it - he would want to bring it home to its "rightful" place. 

This morning, I put on his watch for him and instructed him to check the time, then take a selfie to send to me, along with the message: "I am at home. It is 8.20." I told him that when he reached his workplace, he should likewise send me his time of arrival together with his selfie. Knowing he doesn't like to wear watches, I assured him he can keep the watch (in the front pocket of his haversack - I have to be exact) after reporting his time of arrival.

So Calder went to work wearing a watch. I was hoping the watch would remind him he's supposed to go to work, and that the earlier he arrives, the earlier he can take it off. His job coach had agreed to help me remind him to send me his time of arrival. Thank God, he travelled there smoothly. He sent me his selfie but not the time. According to the job coach, he wasn't wearing any watch. I asked her to check the front pocket of his haversack. Sure enough, it was there. She helped him put it on, note the time, report the time and send it together with his selfie. And then keep it.

We also took the precaution of going through the steps of his journey both to and from work.

He returned home smoothly today. Phew!

And returned the watch to its charging pad.