Friday, September 28, 2018

Tell Me Why

Recent changes in Calder - more spontaneity but also more meltdowns.

Spontaneity:
E.g. Would approach* me without being called but cannot explain purpose or intention -
Me: Yes, what do you want?
Calder: What do you want.

E.g. Would come out of his bedroom after bedtime to approach us*

E.g. Can finish brushing his teeth and wiping face without supervision.

E.g. Run to lifts and would not stop even when called.

Meltdowns:
Noisy places like bowling alley
& reasons unknown

Last night, some time after cheerfully going to bed, he melted down - yell, scream, cry, thrash legs about, chant "help me" - while still lying on his bed. We couldn't find the reason, so just focussed on calming him (sing songs, rhythmic tapping, soothing words "It's ok", "Mommy love" etc.) This morning, seeing he's happy again, I tried to unravel the mystery:

Part 1

Me: Why was Calder so upset last night?
Calder: Is sad.
Me: Why was Calder sad?
Calder: Because throw tantrum.
Me: Why did Calder throw tantrum?
Calder: Because is crying.
Me: Why did Calder cry?
Calder: Because is sad.

Part 2
Me: What happened?
Calder: What happened.
Me: Is it because you were sick?
Calder: Sick sick
Me: Where sick sick?
Calder: (Tapped forehead)
Me: Headache?
Calder: Headache.

Although the "conversation" took place in one sitting, I segregated a Part 2 because that's when information got unreliable - he was likely parroting me. Tapping the forehead could be a reference to fever which is associated with "sick". He could also be remembering a head massage I've done for him before when he was unwell.

At times like this, I'm so thankful I can entrust Calder to God who can read his mind.

- 28 Sep 2018, Calder at 13

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